The lessons a mentor learns Part 3

One objective of REYN is to increase diversity in the workforce.
In
a series of blogs, Flóra Bacsó of Partners
Hungary Foundation, is sharing about her work to coach five Romani women to become kindergarten assistants. 

In her previous
blog, Flóra
began to share the story of her mentee Ilona who
reached out to her after moving to a new flat and experiencing some difficult family
situations. In this blog, Flóra details how she
helped Ilona work through the situation, beginning with Flóra’s response to a panicked phone call from Ilona.

I felt that
her trust in me is something to be used as a resource. We talked for a long
time. I pointed out that she made a huge step forward by asking for help and
that it’s not her fault that she felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I shared a
personal story when I also needed external help and encouraged her to reach out
to the psychologist working at the local social center. At the beginning of our
conversation, she said that she was too ashamed to share her situation with
anyone else. By the end, she agreed to inform her social worker and her
superior at work. I helped her figure out how to tell them what was going on
with her.

Making a Plan

The

psychologist in the local social center offered her consultations free of
charge and Ilona accepted. Her superior, upon learning about her situation,
offered to put her on sick leave until she got better without any time
limitations. Her social worker checked on her every day. I organised a support
group meeting for all the experts involved with her: the social worker, the
psychologist, the mentor in the other program and myself. My aim was to
exchange information on who is providing what kind of support for Ilona, without
breaching confidentiality, so that we all can work towards the same direction –
providing effective support. For the second meeting, Ilona was invited as well
so that she could voice her needs which helped us work not just for her but
with her. Empowerment and partnership are key when working with deprived
people: clients need to feel that they have control over their life and that they
have the ability to overcome challenges. Luckily all the fellow professionals
working with her agreed on this, so on our meetings we were really able to
provide the support that Ilona needed. She did not feel ashamed anymore.
Together, we devised an even more flexible plan.

After a few
months of regularly attending sessions with her psychologist, she managed to
tackle her panic attacks and go back to work. Together, she and her supervisor
figured out working hours and a payment schedule that would work for her. She
moved to another flat where she finally feels at home. She managed to get
professional help regarding the conflict with her son.

Finding success by an alternative route

I am glad we managed to be flexible with our plans and so was Ilona.

“I am so
grateful for this program and I really want to work with children on the long
run. I am convinced that I can take my chance again when my smallest child gets
a bit older. I am grateful for where I am now in my life. I am very thankful to
you as my mentor who always had my back through the hard times, you always
wanted to know how I was doing, you offered me acceptance and emotional support,” Ilona shared.

At the

beginning of the programme, I thought that the programme would be successful if
all the mentees found a job in a kindergarten. I would not have thought that
success can have alternative faces. But, it was flexibility that helped me complete
the important steps that we took together in this programme. It is a success
that she feels home where she lives now. It is a success that she
conquered her panic attacks. It is a success that she is able to reach
out for regular professional support and receive it. It is success that
she was able to agree on a workload that is more manageable.

I am
grateful for the professional conversations that I had during supervision that
helped me with flexibility. I can appreciate that I might not see the results
that were originally set out by the programme because the positive experience
of building a solid and trusting relationship with my mentee had an important impact
on her life.

Being heard
and seen and accepted can give hope and momentum to initiate changes in our
lives, no matter where we start.

By Flóra Bacsó, Trainer and Mentor at Partners
Hungary Foundation.